Heading in a Certain Direction in Midlife

What the new year means for me.

Our life in Thailand, 2015

I don’t believe in setting resolutions. I’m even starting to breakup with the word “goals”.

What I like better is the idea of direction.

I think because resolutions and goals both seem to be about end results, while direction is about how I feel.

I want to go in a certain direction with my life and work.

And that is in the direction of depth, less surface level, more to my core. To go deeper into the things I enjoy.

Deeper into reading by not setting book challenges on StoryGraph and by spending time really thinking about, processing, and experiencing the books I’m reading.

To go deeper with writing by crafting more personal essays that touch on universal topics and experiences.

To go deeper with cooking by spending an afternoon with a big, complicated recipe, paying attention to my senses and enjoying the process.

To go deeper with art by not flitting from one medium to another but to find one or two that really light me up and devote my time and creativity to them.

To go deeper with travel by spending long stretches of time in one place rather than trying to add to my “visited” list, or for shorter trips, truly taking in what’s going on around me, sitting quietly, observing, absorbing.

And to go deeper with friendships. Something I started in 2024 and will continue in 2025 by writing physical letters to my dear friends, talking to each other regularly, listening, connecting, loving.

To go deeper means to really sink into something — to fully understand and to fully realize — rather than spread myself thinly, dabbling, dipping, flirting.

As I write this I’m getting ready to spend three months living in Europe.

The first time I lived abroad was when I moved to Singapore for a year— that was 2012. The last time I lived abroad was in 2015 for six months in Thailand.

Now, 10 years later, I am finally doing it again. This time a bit more easily, no need to end an apartment lease, now I just leave our home in the hands of friends and family to take care of it.

It feels good to take this step. It wasn’t until we (my partner and I) started discussing and realizing the possibility, was I reminded of how much I need this in my life.

Truly setting up a life for three months rather than simply taking a vacation, is a privledge and a gift that is helping me to live a life I have deliberately crafted (depth) and take a big step away from living on repeat (surface-level).

What’s your direction this year?

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